once bitten, twice shy: the buddy list (2023)

Eight of my friends (plus me) look back on the year, reflect on experiences, and share some favorites.

Dec 31, 2023

*Optometry* (Xiang Yata, 2023, Driftwood Press)

Something doesn’t truly become a tradition until you’ve managed to do it a second time, right? When I posted my original buddy list exactly one year ago, I wrote that I was going to cultivate this newsletter as a space to explore my own interests. I wasn’t entirely sure I meant it; I’ve got a lot of incomplete projects and unfulfilled ideas, and it was possible that this would be no different. I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to in that time, but hey—aspirations don’t have to die just because you don’t get to them on schedule. I did plenty, so I deserve to celebrate.

A lot has changed since then. Some of my friendships have gotten stronger, and some have grown distant. To a degree, this collection of writing reflects that. I’ve tapped some friends that contributed last year to return, but not all. Some were busy with life and I didn’t want to bother them. Some probably would have agreed, but I felt anxious troubling them again. Some of the new names are people I wanted to ask last time. Some I decided to approach on a whim. There’s no method to it, really. Like celestial bodies, everyone’s got a gravitational force that’s constantly pulling against others in ways that are difficult to predict; this is simply how the planets aligned.

I’ve invited eight dear pals to reflect on their trip around the sun and share some experiences that stuck with them. The moments spent conversing with friends and trading excitement are, as ever, what keeps me going. I wanted to share a bit of what I love about them, but nothing I say could possibly do them justice. Instead, I’ve given them the space to be themselves and say whatever they want about how they’ve spent their time. I think it comes through why I feel so warmly about each of them. They’re all into cool stuff and show me new and exciting things almost daily. Hopefully something shared here piques your interest too. :->

(By the way: I didn’t tell so many of them to mention me. 😭)

—Shy Clara Thompson

Baxter

*Casting Blossoms to the Sky* (dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi, 2012)

2023 was a year of movement and statis. It was the same as every year in the sense that it was nothing like any other year. It’s the year I finally realized dreams I’ve had since the first grade, and realized that doesn’t change a thing, not really; a year where I have evolved dramatically but remain disappointingly me. But that’s life, huh! And hey, as much as the year felt like the temporal equivalent of squatting beside a river and watching all the water rush by, it was also a good one—one of the best for me, maybe! Plus, importantly for this post, it was one with a whole lot of soul-altering experiences with art.

Top 10 experiences with art in 2023 that rewrote who I am on a molecular level (in absolutely no order)

Writing — I started the year getting a short story published for the first time, ended it with my first freelance gig (where, in a historic first, I earned money…for writing???), and in the middle of all that started a newsletter/blog where I put up around 30k words of art criticism! All very cool. But really, what made writing so satisfying in 2023 has been all the amazing people I’ve met because of it (people like Shy!!).

Ice skating — Despite the ice, this is one of the hottest, most passionate sports there is. People voguing, wearing Attack on Titan cosplay, and drifting through ambient strings while caught in a delicate balancing act of improv and rehearsal, emotional expression and athletic perfectionism. Everyone should be into ice skating.

A salt rice ball — This year I got COVID! And then I got shingles! While I was sick and stuck inside, my girlfriend left some food at my door, including a homemade salt rice ball, which is exactly what it sounds like—just rice and salt and nothing else. It was, without question, the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture — Shoutout to Evil Movie Night, a little group of my best online friends made so we could watch movies that wouldn’t be appropriate in larger Discord servers. The highlight this year? Thriller: A Cruel Picture, an ice-cold Swedish arthouse revenge flick the director claimed was supposed to be the most commercial movie ever made. He might be the dumbest man alive. The moment the film smash cuts to actual hardcore pornography, me and my friends suddenly staring a winking butthole in the face, is one of the most shocking, embarrassing, and hilarious movie viewing experiences I’ve ever had. A movie that is permanently part of my vocabulary now.

Disneyland — Look, I’m not a Disney guy and I’d be very fine if our evil media conglomerate overlord bit the dust, but when Mickey Mouse draws an air heart around you and your partner smiles bigger than you knew it was even possible to smile, I mean, what are you supposed to do?

Les Vampires — I’d seen about half of Les Vampires, the 1915 French serial before, but this was the year I finally went all in, and friends, I am obsessed. I’m a full-blown Feuillade fanatic now. Wildly imaginative and surreal and exciting and obscenely entertaining and deeply complex under the surface. All TV for the past 100 years has just been a desperate attempt to recreate what Feuillade did. None of them have ever gotten close.

Kaleidoscope museum — What I thought would be a mildly-amusing diversion turned out to be a glorious little adventure of light and color radiating childlike glee and wonder. The kaleidoscope is such a playful creation with infinite potential. Picking a favorite from the place is tough, but it might have to be the old man sitting in his boxers and staring at an orb, the kaleidoscope hidden in a hole in the back of his head.

The Adolescence of Utena — Me and a friend watched this sequel/retelling of probably the greatest anime of all time three times in a row one night. And if I hadn’t had to work the next day, I could’ve easily watched it three more times. A perfect circle; a donut movie that gives and gives and inspires obsession.

Magino Village: A Tale — A mammoth four-hour documentary about rice farming that’s actually about everything. Went into the movie as one person, came out as another, suddenly seeing the history and holiness in my home, in the dirt, in every grain of rice I eat. Monumental; one of the greatest, most vital films ever made.
Top 5 Manga of 2023, because manga is good and I’ve grown closer to the medium this year than I ever have been before — Happiness Comes From Eating Sleeping and Waiting, Umibe no Stove, Ink-iro no Yoku wo Haku, Hikou Bungaku, Fool Night

Jai

More than anything these days, I find myself thinking my biggest opponent in life is myself. Earlier this year I read Death of a Salesman, the Arthur Miller play, and something in that really got under my skin: a core theme in the narrative is how the main character Willy Loman can’t confront that time is passing with every second. Despite being married and having a child in his 30s, Willy refuses to accept the material conditions of his life—he believes all his dreams and desires will come true while making zero steps towards them.

I think, for years, I was Willy Loman. Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself, I also have my fair share of interests—I weight lift, I think I’m a pretty good video editor, and I’m proud of the work I’ve written. That being said, my aspirations have always been higher. I’ve wanted to entertain people for most of my life and, if possible, teach them something along the way. I had been juggling the idea of making YouTube videos for years, but in 2023, I actually did it. I made a few lengthy ones! And I’m incredibly proud that I actually managed to break through the mental barrier I had.

No man is an island though, and more than anything, I am incredibly grateful for the fantastic friends and family I’ve had support me through the year. I’ve grown so close to so many great people, and I find myself wanting to make great things, not for myself, but so I can share them with those around me. I’m thankful daily that I can message people randomly to talk about Will Smith’s oeuvre, or even have a community around me that’ll understand the juxtaposition of “oeuvre” and “Will Smith” as a joke.

I would be lying if I said I could’ve done this by myself. I suppose I wrote and edited the videos, but it was the fact that those around me saw something in me that I couldn’t. They were so generous and forthcoming with their time to help me grow into a better person. I’m incredibly grateful to know them. They taught me a very valuable lesson: it’s hard to get started, but once you’ve got momentum, it’s harder to stop.

For those who talk to me, or watch my videos, or whatever else, know this: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to truly convey how much your support means to me. Here’s to another year of finally getting out of our own ways. As hard as it is these days, I hope you do the same.

Top 5 Graphic Novels/Manga I Read in 2023

Book of Human Insects by Osamu Tezuka
Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel
Sabrina by Nick Drnaso
Ashizuri Suizokukan by panpanya

My 10 Favourite Films I Saw for the First Time in 2023, But Did Not Come Out in 2023

Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (dir. Nagisa Ōshima, 1983)
To Sleep So As To Dream (dir. Kaizo Hayashi, 1986)
Barton Fink (dir. Joel Coen, 1991)
Shark Skin Man and Peach Hip Girl (dir. Katsuhito Ishii, 1998)
Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants (dir. David Mamet, 1996)
Sanjuro (dir. Akira Kurosawa, 1962)
The Color of Money (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1986)
Targets (dir. Peter Bogdanovich, 1968)
When We Were Kings (dir. Leon Gast, 1996)
Catch Me If You Can (dir. Stephen Spielberg, 2002)

Kei

For the longest time now, I have had an affinity towards things “of the moment.” Albums released this year, anime airing this season, games that are having their time in the spotlight. I really do get swept up in all of it, and I’ve made it my goal to sift through sand to find my favorites. Despite the way I’ve stuck to this outlook, the way that I have interacted with almost everything online has changed in recent times. When I went to look back at things I posted throughout the year on social media, it didn’t take much time at all for me to scroll through the entire year on my media tab. I have noticed that I don’t post as much about things I love openly anymore, and it’s just hard to wear my heart on my sleeve in the same ways I used to take pride in. It’s not that they don’t happen though. I’m still out here. That’s why I’m so happy Shy invited me to write about some of those things here. I was so excited, even, that I went and wrote a staggering amount of words that would have totally busted the symmetry of everyone’s posts. So, if you feel so inclined, I put the original version up here at a Substack I have literally just opened as of now.

That being said, let’s give this list an outline! If I had to pick a single way to describe this year, it would be “surprises.” Which is pretty nice given that I feel I lacked a plan for it. The following is my favorite currents I followed this year—Events I got to experience, Media of the moment, Observations I got to make along the way, or Parties I was late to.

all in a day’s walk — Life can be noisy sometimes. A quiet afternoon and a lot of walking can really do wonders for the mind.
overly susceptible to advertising (Heaven Burns Red) — Akihabara. Onoden Building 4th floor COSPA. Just enough Lemondou chuhai to feel like nothing will ever go wrong. 4 t-shirt purchases later I have drafted myself into playing Jun Maeda’s big game. It’s on trains. It’s on automobiles. It’s in the train station. I figured out why as soon as I heard Before I Rise on the title screen.
TOKYO MX PRESENTS Healing Time — Somehow there has been an iyashikei headline news program every night at bedtime in Tokyo, and nobody ever told me about it.
Hello and Goodbye: A Dance Evolution Arcade Story — I started learning how to dance because of arcade games. One of them was dead and turned offline before I even started playing it. Late at night, so far in the depths of the city, on the 6th floor of a monolithic shopping mall, in the far corner of an empty arcade, was that same game—running in online mode. I may never get to experience playing the game in networked format again, and I tried to take it in as much as possible. Just a few weeks later, not missing a beat on instituting order for the cruel indifference of the universe, my local arcade orders our cabinet to be taken down and put out of commission.
the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come should have just showed me this anime (accidentally discovering MyGO and also Remorse) — I used to be particularly mean, for no reason other than to fit in, towards this media mix project. You can imagine the regret years when the band I stumbled upon through a Tower Records display was part of that project. MyGO lit up my year. Their unveiling and subsequent anime announcement, later to be referred to by Yahoo Japan News as “Reiwa’s Most Depressing Anime,” so many more great live events, and even supplemental materials have kept me going through 2023. I just hope I can make up for being such an ass back then.
still chanting in-n-out at the top of my lungs (Walküre Final Live) — I wouldn’t be the same without Walküre. All it took was hearing that first “Ikenai Borderline” to convert me. They tipped so many dominoes over in my life, and it was the least I could do to drive a long distance just to watch an official delayed viewing in a theater. My hardships (driving through the state of Ohio) paled in comparison to the effort these girls put in throughout this tour. My first delayed viewing, and also my first time seeing a group I loved retire. I’m just thankful I had penlights this time.
Breaking out of The Algorithm (does anyone have some cdjs we can borrow) — It took years for me to dust off the DJ controller I bought in the midst of the pandemic. I was particularly inspired by seeing KZ perform on a livestream and the rest was history. It turns out that picking that up was the key to making good on my brazen claim that I would “get back into music in 2023.” Really what I meant was that I wanted to be more active about listening, and it’s something I’m glad to have accomplished. Further thanks to 4s4ki, DENONBU, lil soft tennis, She is Legend, PAS TASTA, Tomori Kusonoki, Nagase Yuka, Cerise Bouquet, DOLLCHESTRA, Ohzora Kimishima, Ave Mujica, and of course, MyGO!!!!!
I Got Government Assigned These School Idols (Link! Like! Love Live!) — If I were to send myself a message back in time a year ago and claimed I would get back into Love Live, particularly through an “active time school year long livestream and low budget 3D models storyline”, I’d have thought the message was complete bullshit. Strange as it is, it’s been exciting to follow considering it is just on-going every day. Seeing the wave of excitement slowly build online over these girls has been a riot to watch unfold.
gaijin jumpscared at the coco ichibanya (THE IDOLM@STER M@STERS OF IDOL WORLD!!!!! 2023) — Bandai Namco’s Idolm@ster Royal Rumble was an event I could never have conceived, even in my dreams. I ended up in seats on the very bottom of the upper bowl of the Tokyo Dome, unable to stand due to safety rules, but by god I had one of the best views in the house. My highest heart rate for the entire year was likely hearing the opening melody to “Hanazakari Weekend✿”. I hadn’t even heard “Saku-wa Ukiyo-no Kimi-HANABI” before but the amount of UOs popped for it sure will give it a place in my memories forever. Perhaps the most memorable moment was after the second day of the event. A few drinks deep after the concert while waiting in line at a curry restaurant, I noticed that the older Japanese gentleman in front of me had pins of my favorite character (Cinderella Girls Idol Nono Morikubo) on his bag. I believe I must have given him the biggest white man jumpscare of his entire life when I complimented him on them, getting a full triple take to confirm that I indeed had merch from the event on. It’s moments of international idol unity like getting back a “let’s keep trying hard as her Producer” that make it all seem worth doing.

In summary: I heard M@STERPIECE live, I’m never going to fail.
“ohhhhhhhh so that’s what those girls are from, I wasn’t sure” game of the year 2023 (Blue Archive) — It would be a difficult task to avoid Blue Archive, if you run in the same subcultures and niches I do. It’s hard to understand the appeal at a material level. Sure, the music is incredible. Sure, the character and world designs are super modern and full of details. You just need more to survive in the hellishly competitive big social game landscape these days. I went in intending to discover what it was that was so special about this game, why it had built such incredible numbers and gained so much fanfare. It was over for me as soon as they invoked a few tiny scrimblos responsible for making kusoge thanking a robot they kidnapped for enjoying the bad games they made. I followed it through to the final chapter and it ended up being my favorite game this year.

Jinhyung Kim

My life has changed so rapidly and so consistently in the past few years that whenever I revisit any of the writing I’ve done or conversations I’ve had in that time, the selves I find feel impossibly distant—not unrelatable; just a gulf of experience removed. Pre-2020 feels like ancient history, and the older I get, the less I feel the need to draw a line of narrative continuity from past to present. But if I had to articulate one thing about myself that’s stayed stubbornly the same throughout my entire life, it’d be that I value friendships above all else. School, work, and nerd shit provide the general frameworks by which I structure my time, but it’s all second to (or for the purpose of) making and maintaining connections with people. That’s my fundamental source of happiness, and that's something that will never change. I used to think I cared more about art than I did about people; now, I don’t even bother pretending there's a line separating the two. Love you, Shy—thanks for helping me make it through one doozy of a year.

Ten Zines/Zine-y Things I Got in 2023

Last month, I attended the 2023 Houston Zine Fest; I first went in 2022, and both events were an indubitable highlight of my year—a real nexus for anyone who practices DIY in a city whose sprawl easily scatters chances for communal gathering. It felt even more special this time because I personally knew a lot of the vendors, mostly thanks to having met them through Basket Books & Art (where I work). Here’s a list of zine (or zine-adjacent) things I got—mostly via zine fest, but a few from other occasions (titles embedded with pictures!).

Chris Cascio - Artifacts and Source Material, I - III (2011 - 16) — This guy’s made a lot of cool zines in a classic punk/“American Transgressive” mode that compile the iconography of things like sensationalist media, metal and rave subcultures, etc. These little zines are an unthematized selection of xeroxes, clippings, and other flim flam from the moldiest dregs of humanity.
Izaac Costiniano/Redd Howard - Hello Houston: Four Architectural Sites (2023) — My friends! Izaac’s a great photographer, and his partner Redd is an art historian (and ceramicist in formation, I believe?). They made a zine together featuring photography and writing on some of the city’s more subtle architectural quirks.
Ian Gerson - Tremble (2023) — Ian’s recent work comprises explorations of historic queer night life in Galveston, TX; Tremble accompanies an exhibition of the same name featuring woven tapestries made with various found objects from the Galveston Bay area “as a way of centering the refused, the invisible, the marginal.”
Harmony Korine/Mark Gonzales - Collected Fanzines (2008) — An early anthology of DIY sleaze by the ever-notorious Harmony Korine, published as a book by Drag City in 2008; these zines’ stark and simple presentation are a refreshing contrast to a filmmography whose approach to transgression can often be saturated and demanding.
ed. Adam Marnie - F Magazine, Issue 6: “Sex” (2018) — Adam’s F Gallery + publishing project is one of the few art things based in Houston I’m consistently excited about; his longest-running output is F magazine, which invites contributors to submit an anything-goes gamut of art, poetry, essays, and experimental writing in response to the theme at hand.
Dani Newman - Lonely Places (2022) — Dani’s a neighbor and erstwhile cafe buddy; this little photo zine is a document of her time living out of a car with her partner while on a road trip across the Great American West.
Jessica Ninci - Window Shopping (2022) — Ian (Gerson—see above), Jessica, and Dan (Schmahl—see below) are all connected via the Galveston art community, as well as Dan’s publishing project Super Hit Press (all the work of theirs I’ve listed here was printed by Super Hit). Each spread of Jessica’s Window Shopping zine documents a trinket from a Galveston antique/thrift/local shop on the left and her ceramic recreation of it on the right.
Grace Sydney Pham - A Glimpse Into the Houston Experimental Music Scene (2023) — Friend of a friend made this hardcover photo zine that features many a familiar face I’ve seen attending free improv shows ‘round H-town.
Dan Schmahl - Let's Pretend (20??) — Dan’s an amazing Galveston-based artist and printer (and Jessica's partner); he downplays his own work too much, but his monochrome risographs are some of the most gorgeous things I've seen.
Ann Weathersby - Reliquaries (2021) —Also published by F. A documentation of 14 reliquary boxes, each with a collage and a text, that present material personally important to Weathersby in the form of sacred objects.

Joshua Minsoo Kim

Reflecting on any year is weird because you realize how much you experienced despite it all going so fast. I don’t really think I need to spend more time thinking about any of it though because I’m just ready to move on—not in the sense that 2023 was especially horrible (it was in various ways, both personally and not), but because I’m still in a mindset that has fueled me since I stopped being insanely depressed half a decade ago, which is that I’d prefer to just do things than think about them. Of course, a lot of the things I do are a result of careful consideration, but I’m always thinking about how little time we have in this little life. I’m just doing what I can.

Favorite Concerts of 2023

HiTech at Phố Việt in Chicago, 7/22
Underground Resistance at Nowadays in New York, 5/28
Still House Plants at First Church in Jamaica Plain in Boston, 3/26
Kath Bloom at the Hideout in Chicago, 10/14
Patti Smith at the Salt Shed in Chicago, 12/27
Richard Dawson at Public Records in New York, 3/28
Numero Twenty (specifically Unwound, Karate, Tsunami, Codeine, and The Hated) at the Palace Theater in LA, 2/18 & 2/19
Martin Dupont at the Brooklyn Monarch in New York, 5/28
NewJeans at Lollapalooza in Chicago, 8/3
Hermeto Pascoal at Pioneer Works in New York, 5/25
Agriculture at the Bluebird Theater in Denver, 11/2

Aspirations for 2024, Written on the Spot, in No Particular Order:

Regularly work out and be more mindful of my health (benching 225 by the end of the year???)
Keep Tone Glow consistently running (writers panel + film coverage especially)
Learn how to swim (dear god please it’s time)
Attend more avant-garde puppetry shows here in Chicago (and write about some of them???)
Follow through on publishing the interviews I’ve conducted in the past
Go to the Galapagos on a research trip with other science teachers (it’s now or never…)
Visit Toronto and go through the film archives there (and especially going through Michael Snow’s archives)
Do some film programming (hopefully of James Herbert’s works)
Eat at more restaurants in Chicago so that I can map out the best places to eat for at least 15 different cuisines (within my budget…)
Learn how to cook some cuisine I’ve never tried cooking before (most important thing on this list maybe???)
Read more fiction (lol)

Saoirse

*Free Soul*, chapter 10 (Yamaji Ebine, *Feel Young* magazine)

It’s been a frustrating one. I started the year lost, burnt out and directionless and in some ways I feel that’s where I'm leaving it. My mental health is worse than ever, but for once I feel like I've got the people around me to pull through.

I received an email from a university about course openings for their communications/Film course and applied on a whim. I’m a high school dropout, so didn’t expect to get in but I did—I absolutely threw myself at it. I took advantage of almost every opportunity. I’d spend hours in the library just researching for fun. My curiosity will never be satiated; I came close, though. For almost 6 months, it was the perfect environment to foster me. (I don’t know how I'll live without free access to academic papers when I graduate.)

God, the films I watched, nearly 300, it’s freakish, it’s twisted and this year it brought me closer to people than ever before. I volunteered for the local film festival. I go to a screening every week (Shoutout to C.U.M., the best cinema experience in Sydney). Film has given me a chance to unapologetically express myself and I'm forever grateful. I’ve met so many wonderful people this year, including my sweetheart.

Around July, I fell hard. My depression came back and everything became a struggle again. I don’t know what caused it, or if the miracle of (almost) dysfunction-free life was just mania, but I'm so glad it happened. It gave me the energy to immerse myself in community and find pockets of stability. It’s not my first walk around the block, and I’m sure clearer skies are ahead next year. Even if they’re not, I'll keep pushing through. I’ve never felt so loved and supported. Thank you all so very much. <3

The Media That Stuck With Me

Yamaji Ebine’s manga — I tore through almost all of her available work during the early year malaise and I don’t think I’ve gone a day without thinking about her stories. There’s a little bit of me in all her protagonists. They’re stuck, dysfunctional and love-struck. Nobody is writing about young queer women like her.
Girls of the Night (dir. Kinuyo Tanaka, 1961) — I found myself “out” more than ever this year. The ways this film forces its protagonist to navigate disclosure speaks to me viscerally. It’s heartbreaking, but for a moment she can slip into pure romanticism. “Just being treated so kindly is more than enough, it made me so happy”
Paris Funeral 1972 (dir. Adam C. Briggs, 2021) — Had the pleasure of seeing this at my favourite local movie club. It’s nice to feel like there’s a creative present and future in Australian film production and film culture. The beautiful people that made both possible know who you are. I’m extremely proud to call you my friends.
Extreme Private Eros: Love Song 1974 (dir. Kazuo Hara 1974) — Of all the diary films I watched this year, this was simultaneously the most self destructive, invasive and healing.
The YouTube Upload: 本多俊之 - “マルサの女” / Toshiyuki Honda - Theme from “A Taxing Woman (Marusa no onna)” (uploader: Pure Jam, 2020) — YouTube made it a mission to put this at the top of my recommended tab almost daily. I clicked and listened to it more than I’d like to admit. Thank you Toshiyuki Honda for letting me channel Nobuko Miyamoto girlboss energy for late night study sessions.

Assorted Lovely Moments

A beautiful drive down backcountry roads with my sweetheart. The best navigation mistake I’ve ever made.
Getting to present a screening of Tourism (2017) accompanied by Q&A with Daisuke Miyazaki. When we wrapped up, a friend shouted “GO SAOIRSE!” It was just such a pleasure to get to contribute to such an important place for me.
Selling a brand new friend on Tampopo, primarily with the egg scene and then suggesting we watch it then and there.
I went swimming for the first time in years. I cried when I touched the ocean; I’ve missed it so much. It felt like I’d never go back. I’m so proud of myself.

Ryan Waller

*Sunshine for the Poor* (dir. Alain Guiraudie, 2001)

I fell apart this year. Usually, I’m very apprehensive about going in depth about my emotional state, because I’m embarrassed of my emotions. I spiral out a lot; I feel bad, then I feel awful about feeling bad, then I start feeling about how it makes people I care about feel bad, then I think about how that makes me feel bad. And the spiral continues on and on. For a long time, I felt like I was beginning to develop a level of maturity that helped me to stabilize my emotional state and give me more strength to handle the world.

Then 2023 happened. I lost a wonderful friend; I lost my grandmother; and I lost so many heroes. It’s harder than ever to feel stable. Every single day, I wake up wanting to give up—and my end of the stick isn’t even the shortest.

In the face of the deep sorrows that have plagued me since the literal first week of this year, music has kept me afloat. Shy and I share the same passionate stance: every year is a good year for music. Yet I have to admit that this was a particularly incredible year for music. Tons of indispensable archival releases, like the previously unreleased Os Tincoãs album Canto Coral Afrobrasileiro, have bowled me over this year. Consistently brilliant artists like Klein and KMRU have stepped up their practices and delivered some of their best work yet. We’ve even gotten amazing returns from long dormant artists like Japanese gamelan-rock masters goat, and a sequel to a long beloved collaboration by Éric La Casa and Seijiro Murayama. It’s hard to want to be around these days, but the surplus of unbelievably great music this year has made it much, much more tolerable.

I love Shy, and if you’re reading this I’m sure you do too. I’m beyond ecstatic to have been called back to contribute to another buddy list. She’s so amazing, and I’m happy to be a part of what she does in any capacity. All of my friends keep me alive, and I love you all.

Top Ten Under-Discussed Albums of 2023 (By My Metric) (Unranked)

goat (JP) - Joy in Fear — This band is absolutely disgusting. If you love Kukangendai, do not miss these guys’ long-awaited return. When I say math rock, this is what I mean.
Aaron Dilloway - Bhoot Ghar: Sounds of the Kathmandu Horror House — Dilloway is one of the most freeing artists to follow. Can think of few people who make field recordings more fun to listen to. Shouts out to Nepal.
Me'Shell Ndegéocello - The Omnichord Real Book — The motherfucking greatest. Nobody can do it like her, as long as she’s done it. And she’s got a veritable who’s who of contemporary jazz on here. Would love to hear her chop it up with Makaya McCraven or Junius Paul sometime.
Fielded - Plus One — A real motherfucking star. Everyone needs to run them up expeditiously. Backwoodz has had an amazing year, and Fielded is absolutely a huge part of that rich tapestry of excellence.
Raja Kirik - Phantasmagoria of Jathilan — Yes No Wave is one of the best labels around, and if you appreciate experimental music that genuinely pushes the boundaries of what industrial music can sound like, you’d do well to familiarize yourself with Raja Kirik’s catalogue. Absolutely raw sounds on this one.
Scúru Fitchádu - Nez Txada Skúru dentu skina na braku fundu — Can’t believe no one is talking about this. Probably the most genuinely punk thing you’ll hear all year. Folkloric tradition meets electronic wizardry is a huge draw for me and the atmosphere of fury and resistance imbues every howl with the utmost urgency.
Edward Skeletrix - Skeletrix Langauge — If you’re seriously saying that hip-hop isn’t good anymore in current year, you will not survive the revolution.
münki - ACT IIIL SMIL :3 — No seriously. Hip-hop has never been better.
Vayda - Forrest Gump — And nobody proves that better than Vayda. She’s really the future.
Sabiwa - Island no.16 - Memories of Future Landscapes — A rich and exciting fusion of EAI and indigenous Taiwanese folk that has me very excited to dig into the latter in the new year.

Patrick Lynn Wilson

*Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective* (Capcom, 2010 - remastered 2023)

Webster’s Dictionary defines 2023 as the number dating the year following 2022 and preceding 2024. In keeping with several of the authors featured here, I define it as a rough patch for me personally, but please notice the meringue layer of my despair pie is flecked with chocolate flakes from the sweet cacao tree of positivity. For while a large chunk of this year may have sucked, my friends and Shy were there to agree that it sucks with me, and then send me a link to a crusty YouTube vid of an old free jazz improv set featuring tabla, gong, and analog synth. I started out 2023 reeling from loss, slightly inert; as the year bows out, I find myself no longer reeling but surrounded by the comforts of a supportive and loving partner, a cozy reading nook, and what is sure to be a normal presidential election cycle in 2024. Shy, I couldn’t have made it through without you—and frankly, why would I want to?

Patrick Lynn’s Top Albums of 2023 or Whatever:

PAS TASTA – GOOD POP — The most forward-thinking album of the year; the sound of a thousand envelopes pushed at once and pressing back with equal force.
Emma Aibara – i don't know who i am & sound of my ♡ EPs — Perfectly processed DnB pop on this bookend of EPs. Emma’s YouTube-uploaded breakcore covers of Evanescence’s “Going Under” and Kittie’s “Charlotte” were my songs of the summer. If you’ve ever cried at a Mitsubishi Eclipse ad from 2003, this is now the brightest star in your sky.
Peterparker69, Jeter, & Y ohtrixpointnever – Deadpool — Smeary hyperpop that tips its hat to the sonic qualities of today’s radio R&B, then twirls the hat around and does a little parallel shimmy.
Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd — Shows how one can effectively string their neuroses along their fingers like a cat’s cradle to major effect, while transgressing all manner of good taste in the process.
Summer Eye – 大吉 Good Luck — The year’s best dance pop jawn. And to think, I very nearly made it the entirety of 2023 without having to hear the words “LCD Soundsystem”.
XV – On the Creekbeds on the Thrones — Best and most cerebral rock LP of the year or whatever.
Erik Kramer – Where the fish are as fine as the color of colors — Late contender for best folk release of 2023, maybe even the nascent decade so far.
eleven thistles – demos — Absurdly accomplished set of debut demos from this Chicago ambient duo.
hoodie x james K – 065 (Scorpio) — My trip-hop revivalist jawn of choice this year.
J and the woolen stars – Personal Problems — When twee pop stops getting real and gets in a chamber music mode instead.
heartstopmiami & FearDorian – K.A.S.O.B. — Blown-out helium hyperrap built of wheezy saccharine energy and copious references to Betty Boop.
ML Buch – Suntub — A veritable Rorschach of an album; A future classic.
100 gecs – 10,000 gecs — America’s house band.
Addison Rae – AR — A hermetically sealed vacuum of horny. Here, sex is the most oppressive and powerful force in existence.
audry – Turbulence Mapping — The death blues of a moth trapped in a screen door.
Run Along Forever & AyooLii – Crashing Tf Out — I love my fiends!

(Other releases I listened to heaps but don’t have room to write about: Jim Legxacy – HNPM; Gendo Ikari – ROKUBUNGI; Gridlink – Coronet Juniper; Tomb Mold – The Enduring Spirit; Ostraca – Disaster; Closet Witch – Chiaroscuro; Christian Mirande – Beautiful One Day, Perfect The Next; Laurence Crane – Natural World; SATOH – Born in Asia; Joanne Robertson – Blue Car; Liv.e – Girl in the Half Pearl; Emily Robb – If I Am Misery Then Give Me Affection; Jack Sheen – Solo for Cello; Opheliaxz - 11//11)

Reissues/Archival Releases of the Year or Whatever

Thomas Buckner sings Robert Ashley - Spontaneous Musical Invention
Mag-Amplitude – Wizards of Today
Easter Monkeys – Splendor of Sorrow
Pitchman – My Angel Age
Richter Band – Smetana
Angus MacLise – Tapes

Lynn’s Shoe of the Year or Whatever

Puma - Perks and Mini x Nano 'BIO/VERSE' — Dressing like a hippie so that others may hurl death threats at you is the highest calling we can hope to follow in this life; these flower-patterned sneakers make that so much easier to accomplish. Counter culture ain’t just for bacteria in the kitchen anymore...

Shy Clara Thompson

*Minami’s Lover* (Shungicu Uchida, 1986, *Garo* magazine)

For most of the year, I felt like a powerless observer. A lot of things happened to me, and I was convinced that all I could do was curl up and take the abuse. I lost a friend and two family members. The relationship I’ve been in since high school ended. I fell in love again and got my heart broken just as swiftly. I didn’t feel equipped to handle any more misfortune, so I withdrew from being a participant in my own story. I stopped writing. I stopped listening to music, reading, and playing games. I stopped getting out of bed. I didn’t necessarily want to take my own life, but I did want to stop living. Wrapping myself in a chrysalis was my way to minimize the hurt.

Though no matter how hard I tried to opt out, some folks wouldn’t let me be. The editors I worked with kept asking where I’ve been and prodded me to share my ideas, even though I didn’t think they were worth shit. Friends kept checking on me if it had been too long since they’d heard from me. As I was increasingly giving less of myself, my loved ones were determined to tease as much out of me as possible. I have a habit of believing the moment I stop being interesting, I lose all value and there’s no reason anyone should care. Time and time again, I was reminded that I’m more than just my despair and a person worth loving still existed underneath the wreckage. I can’t possibly express my gratitude to everyone that refused to let me decompose and return to the earth. Sincerely: thank you. Your kindness has done more than you know.

I’m far from what I’d describe as “okay,” but I’m not on life support right now. I’ve managed to write some things I feel proud of in this final quarter of the year. My excitement for the arts is as strong as it’s ever been. I’m into cosplay now, I guess, which is something I never thought I’d be brave enough to try. I hesitate to slip into the cliché of “2024 is my year,” because it’s not like life lets up just because the calendar rolls over—but I think I’ll be fine. At the very least, I’m probably a little better prepared to handle it.

One Extremely Good Comic Book You Should Read

Optometry (Xiang Yata, 2023)

Ten Non-2023 Albums I Heard (and Loved) This Year

Beilkhan Haliakbar - Air Walk (Modern Sky World, 2018)
Blue Asia - Hotel iBAH (Seven Seas, 2001)
Electric Satie - Gymnopédie '99 (Roux, 1998)
Harry & Mac - Road to Louisiana (Epic, 1999)
Maki Asakawa’s entire discography
Mathey - Clépo (Lusafrica, 1996)
Motoya Hamaguchi Group - Takara・Monde (Panam, 1990)
Ray Kāne & Yuki Alani Yamauchi - Maika'i No Blues (Respect Record Ltd., 1999)
Tank - Force of Nature (Blackground Enterprises, 2001)
Xerinay Malik - Xerinay Malik (太合麥田, 1996)

Thanks for reading this ninth installment of once bitten, twice shy. A huge thanks to my pals that have generously given their time and effort to make this one special. You are the best. I’ve cut the amount of contributions from nine to eight this time, and there’s a reason for that: It didn’t feel right to “replace” my departed friend Nicky, so I’ve left the spot open for them. It’s important to me that I keep finding small ways to show my appreciation.

I’ve come a bit short of my original goal of (at least) one post a month, but I didn’t give up! I’m proud of myself for that. There’s a solid four months where I didn’t publish anything at all, and for a while I thought the newsletter would die a quiet death. I’m thankful that you’re still reading. I’ve got more stuff for you in the new year if you wanna keep sticking with me.

By the way, today’s my birthday! If you’re feeling nice and appreciate what I do, consider hitting the Ko-fi link below and donating. Do or don’t, I appreciate you anyway. Be safe. Happy new year. Tell your friends you love them.

Donate via Ko-fi

P.S. I wrote all my sections in a four hour sitting. I like to listen to instrumental music while I write. If you’re curious what I put on to get me through it:
Culturemix - Geography (1993)
Atlas - Breeze (1987)
Oscilation Circuit - Série Réflexion 1 (1984)
Satoshi Ashikawa - Wave Notation 2: Still Way (1982)